Insecurity

Insecurity—good or bad?

I've always wrestled with this question. On one hand, I've seen insecurity push people to do extraordinary things—get into college, land a job offer, find a girlfriend. But I've also seen it destroy people—lead to breakups, burnout, and at its worst, suicide.

After spending time in SF circles, it seems like everyone is following a path of predictable outcomes. What's everyone around me doing? Grinding for a top college. What's everyone doing in college? Grinding for FAANG. What's next after FAANG? Grinding for a tier-1 startup. What comes after a tier-1 startup? Building their own company and applying to YC. What's next in YC? Raising from tier-1 funds. And so on.

It's easy to feel insecure when there's a clear, linear timeline against which to measure yourself. You're either ahead or behind, never just existing on your own terms.

But when do you actually become satisfied—with who you are, what you've accomplished, and what you've learned? When do you stop to appreciate the memories, friendships, and things you've built? When does the cycle end? And what's it all for? Family? When's the last time you called your parents? Financial freedom? When's the last time you actually worried about money? More likely than not, you're doing this because you're insecure. And that's okay. We all are.

But when you create your own path, there is no linear structure for comparison. You exist on your own graph. There's no ahead or behind because you're playing a different game entirely. The outcome becomes unpredictable—but isn't that how it should be? If life were predictable, why even live it? Besides, if you're following others, you've already failed in some ways. How can you follow a linear graph and expect exponential outcomes?

So am I telling you to give up your trajectory and your comfortable $500K salary? Am I saying not to outwork your peers and push to be the smartest in the room? No. But there's something to be learned from people like Messi, who became the greatest soccer player of all time not for fame, money, or validation, but because he simply loves the game. Just soccer for the sake of soccer.

There's probably some clichéd answer here about 'striking a balance.' But the truth is, more people need to do things simply because they enjoy them—not because their roommate thinks it's cool, not because it's the next big opportunity, but because it genuinely interests them. Talk to someone because their outfit is cool, not because they're 'cracked' or wearing a YC hoodie. Go to the Bay for Yosemite, not because there's a startup conference in SF. Start reading, not because it'll help you be a better founder, but because you genuinely find the topic interesting.

I've never met someone who regretted studying philosophy or Spanish literature. But I've met countless people who regret studying computer science or engineering, feeling like they got nothing out of it. The best opportunities and people in my life have come from diving deep into things I found interesting and leaving the door open for serendipity. In a world that feels like a constant race to the finish line, find your soccer. Live a little.

At the end of the day, we'll all be 40, and none of this will matter beyond our children and their well-being. Maybe this way you'll actually have some interesting stories to share with them when the time comes.

- Eddie